


Bye My First

by peachyduckie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 7dream on a road trip, Alternate Universe - High School, Crushes, First Love, M/M, Mostly narration, Road Trips, Unrequited Love, mark is graduating, side Norenmin, side developing chensung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 19:37:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20458373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachyduckie/pseuds/peachyduckie
Summary: 1,964 days. To the very second. That’s how long Mark Lee had been a part of Donghyuck’s life. But in just a few short weeks, Mark would be out of it once again. Not completely, (as if Donghyuck could ever really get rid of Mark), but the older boy would be off to college, completely leaving Donghyuck behind.1,964 days. That’s how long it had been since Donghyuck had fallen in love.Alternatively, Donghyuck contemplating his feelings for his best friend and first love, Mark Lee, during a road trip to Jeju Island before the older boy leaves for college.





	Bye My First

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this story! It took me a minute to finish it because I just kept losing motivation for no reason at all. But my sister seemed to like it, so idk.

1,964 days. To the very second. That’s how long Mark Lee had been a part of Donghyuck’s life. But in just a few short weeks, Mark would be out of it once again. Not completely, (as if Donghyuck could ever really get rid of Mark), but the older boy would be off to college, completely leaving Donghyuck behind.

1,964 days. That’s how long it had been since Donghyuck had fallen in love.

No one else knew. Nobody knew how Donghyuck felt about Mark. Mark was his best friend, it wouldn’t be right. They’d known each other since they were 13 and 14 respectively. Feelings past friendship just weren't an option. Or at least that’s the excuse Donghyuck made for himself whenever he didn’t want to admit that he was just a coward.

On the last day of school in Mark’s senior year, Donghyuck told himself he would do it. He would finally confess to Mark and tell him everything. But when he finally walked up to him, Mark just had this dopey smile on his face. The same face that made Donghyuck fall in love with him. And god, Donghyuck thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest if he didn’t just run in the opposite direction. So he did. He made something up that he couldn’t even remember now and practically dashed home.

Now only a few weeks were left until the end of the summer. Until Mark would be off living his new life, surrounded by new people. Things would be different, but Donghyuck just couldn’t bring himself to confess his feelings. He was terrified that it would ruin everything, or that Mark wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore. He loved the older boy so much, he’d rather just have him as a friend than not at all.

Mark Lee was his first love. He was the first boy to ever make Donghyuck’s heart skip a beat. Of course the first love is always the sweetest. It is the most exciting and riveting out of them all. Everything is new to you and you are so determined to say yes, this is what love feels like. You just want it so badly. You want it so bad that you’d do anything to keep it. Including hiding that love from the rest of the world. That’s exactly what Donghyuck did. Looking back on it, that was probably his first mistake.

He should have just confessed the moment he realized his feelings for Mark were more than just platonic. Deep down he knew they’d always been more than platonic, but it really hit him much later. Donghyuck can still remember that moment perfectly, because it was one of the best and worst moments in his life. 

****************

Mark was practicing basketball with Chenle because he wanted to make the varsity team that year. The older boy had worked up a little bit of a sweat, but he was still as handsome as ever. Donghyuck was sitting on the sidelines with Jisung, Chenle’s best friend. At some point, it had started to get dark, but both Mark and Chenle were determined to get this one shot right. When Mark finally got it, the two of them cheered endlessly, while Donghyuck and Jisung just laughed at their ridiculous best friends. With a huge smile on his face, Mark walked Donghyuck home.

“Duckie, I can’t believe I made that shot. If I can do that at the tryout, there’s no way coach wouldn’t let me on the team,” Mark had said as they walked.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried in the first place. You’re one of the best players on JV, he’s gonna let you join varsity even if you just stand there the entire tryout,” Donghyuck told him. Mark had let out a loud (cute) laugh at that.

“I don’t know about all that, but I appreciate the support.” Mark’s smile spread across his whole face.

“You’re welcome,” Donghyuck had replied. Mark laughed even more.

Donghyuck just smiled as Mark giggled the whole way home. His smile was so sweet and beautiful, it made Donghyuck want to grin as well. Once they’d finally got to Donghyuck’s front porch, the older boy still had that same grin on his face. Donghyuck smiled back just as nicely.

“Alright, night Hyuck. I’ll see you on Monday?” Mark asked.

“I hope we hang out again before that, loser!” Donghyuck answered, hitting Mark on the arm for even suggesting something as ridiculous as not hanging out with his best friend over the weekend.

“Alright, alright,” Mark chuckled as he rubbed his arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

In that moment, all Donghyuck had been able to think of was how badly he wanted to kiss that smile right off of Mark Lee’s lips. He wanted to kiss his best friend so badly it felt like it would kill him. He was so in love with Mark, and he was finally starting to realize it.

Naturally, it terrified him.

“Yeah, sure. Night!” Donghyuck rushed out before hugging Mark quickly and heading inside.

Donghyuck had spent the rest of the night sitting up in bed, rethinking every moment he’d spent with the older boy. It had always been Mark. He was the first love of Donghyuck’s life and every second they spent together suddenly meant so much more. But Mark could never possibly feel that way about him, could he? _No, no, no, that would be a terrible idea, right?_ Donghyuck’s brain couldn’t seem to settle on the correct answer, so in the end he decided he would just keep these newly discovered feelings to himself for the time being. And he was right, that was his first mistake.

****************

Maybe if he had just gone up to Mark the next afternoon when they hung out again, if he had just said then that he had feelings for the older boy, things would have turned out completely different. Maybe they would have become something more than what they were now. Maybe Mark would have been his boyfriend. He would love him back and it would be this insane, yet wonderful feeling Donghyuck would probably never forget.

Or maybe things would have taken a turn for the worst. Mark would have been disgusted with him and they would have stopped being friends completely. He would have been heartbroken and it would ruin so many things. Donghyuck couldn’t handle that potential option.

So now here he was, planning out a road trip with his friends to celebrate and commemorate the time they’ve spent together as 7. The boys had decided to make these plans over breakfast, and Donghyuck couldn’t help but get lost in thought as he watched Mark inhale a pancake. Watching someone scarf down a meal was probably the least attractive thing that someone could do, but to Donghyuck, Mark was just so cute. He looked up at Donghyuck with full cheeks and wide eyes, which made the younger smile and shake his head. Gosh, Mark Lee was something else. Why was he in love with this dumbass again?

“So I was thinking we could take Mark’s car on the ferry to Jeju Island and just drive around for a few hours, eat food, visit the beach, then go home! It’s a short but very fun trip for everyone!” Jaemin explained.

“Wow, just volunteer my car. Thanks Jaem.” Mark muttered, mouth still full of food.

“Oh don’t act like you don’t drive us everywhere anyways,” Renjun teased. Mark rolled his eyes and continued eating.

“We’re doing this for you,” Jaemin reminded him.

“I know. And I’m very grateful. But I’d be even more grateful if I didn’t have to pay for gas during this little extravaganza you have planned.” Mark smiled at him sarcastically. Jaemin scowled and continued to explain some of the activities he had in mind for their trip.

“Jisung, can you pass the salt?” Chenle asked beside Donghyuck.

Jisung quickly handed the salt over to Chenle and watched silently as the older of the two poured it onto his food carefully. Jisung smiled a little when Chenle accidentally added too much. Donghyuck would recognize that expression anywhere. It was the same one he made when he looked at Mark.

_When did you get so grown up, huh Sungie?_ Donghyuck thought to himself. Time had flown by so quickly, and yet here he was, still with the large and looming secret. What on earth was he going to do with it now? There was almost no time left for everything Donghyuck had kept bottled up for so long. It was like the last grains of sand were finally falling into the endless pit of an hourglass.

“Well, now that we have that lovely plan set up, how about we actually decide who’s paying for all of this food?” Jeno asked.

The boys all groaned. None of them wanted to pay for it themselves.

“Can’t we ever just each pay for our own food?” Jisung whined.

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Jaemin questioned. “Stop whining and put your hand in.”

All 7 boys put their hands in and started playing rock paper scissors to see who would be paying for their breakfast. In the end, Chenle lost. But in Donghyuck’s opinion, all this food would probably make a very small dent in the Chinese boy’s pocket.

****************

After that morning, Donghyuck didn’t think too much more about the road trip. So when the time finally came and they were actually going to leave, Donghyuck was a little shocked. He had lost track of time once again. The end of summer was here. Things were never going to be the same once they got back from this little trip, so he should make the most of it while they were still all together. While they were still 7.

“What are we gonna listen to?” Jeno asked as they all piled into the car at around 10 at night.

All of the boys were incredibly groggy aside from Mark, who was very chipper after drinking a solid amount of coffee. They had to start this trip at a strange time considering how long it would take just to get to the island. All of them were trying to be happy, although honestly it wasn't hard. They were always happy to be together.

“I vote Donghyuck’s playlist!” Mark said as he slipped into the driver’s seat. “

You always vote his playlist,” Chenle pointed out.

“Well maybe it’s because the rest of you listen to weird ass shit, did you ever consider that?” Mark asked.

“Or maybe it’s because half the music he listens to he gets from you,” Renjun countered.

“It’s too early for this, Donghyuck turn on some music.” Mark flipped the younger boys off and Donghyuck plugged his phone into the auxiliary cord.

The drive to the ferry was almost unbearably long, but they made it worth it. At first all the younger boys took naps to make up for the lack of sleep they were getting on the trip, but eventually everyone was awake again and ready to have fun. Everyone blabbed about whatever they’d been doing that summer when they weren’t all hanging out and every now and then they’d bring up something about Mark’s upcoming college experience. What he was excited for, what he was nervous about. But really no one wanted to think about Mark not being there, so they just brought up old jokes and memories.

Once they were at the ferry, Donghyuck was sure that he’d played every song he knew in the world, so he didn’t know what they were going to do once they actually got to Jeju. All of the boys messed around on the ferry and wandered off to take pictures for the time being. It was around 4am now, so there way a very dull light illuminating the waters beneath them. Somehow, even at the crack of dawn, it looked beautiful.

“I forgot how amazing this view is,” Mark said softly. Donghyuck hadn’t even noticed when the older boy came to stand beside him.

“Remember the last time we were here?” Donghyuck asked. Mark grinned even wider.

Donghyuck’s family had just moved from Jeju Island the year before he met Mark, so he didn’t have that many friends. Mark had just moved from Vancouver when they met, so he too had very few friends. They found solace in each other, even though Donghyuck usually got Mark into trouble with him.

They quickly became best friends and as a result, Donghyuck invited him to visit Jeju with him and his family during the upcoming summer break. Mark had never seen anything outside of Seoul at the time, so he was amazed at every little thing as they made their way towards the ferry docks in Busan. Once they got on the boat, Mark and Donghyuck explored everything they could. Mark was just amazed by all of it and it made Donghyuck’s heart melt. Looking back on it, he probably should have realized that he was in love with Mark then too.

The trip had been absolutely perfect. He was so excited to show Mark all the places he used to visit when he was younger. They ate far too much sugar, stayed at the beach as long as they could and just had fun. Donghyuck was suddenly wishing he could go back to that time so that he could have more time with the boy he had come to love so deeply. The idea of losing his first love so suddenly was bothering him more and more as the days flew by.

Finally the ferry arrived and the 7 boys got back to Mark’s car and drove carefully onto the island. Once they were on the road, they headed off to find a good place to eat since none of them had had any real food besides pop tarts and beef jerky sticks. Jaemin was complaining about something while Renjun stroked his hair. Jisung and Chenle were throwing balled up wrappers at each other in the back seat while Mark yelled at them to stop, although there was no real venom. Jeno was simply minding his business, taking pictures out of the window.

Donghyuck loved his friends so much. If he felt weird about Mark leaving him, he felt even weirder about Mark leaving their friend group. If they were a team, Mark was their captain, faithful and unwavering. But now he would be gone. What would a team do without their leader? Donghyuck wasn't sure.

“What about that diner that you took me to last time?” Mark suggested to Donghyuck, breaking him out of his train of thought.

“You actually remembered that?” Donghyuck asked in surprise. That had been a very minor part of the trip and Donghyuck himself had kind of forgotten about it.

“Of course! That food was amazing, and plus it has a great view of all the people walking around and stuff. You walked outside and kept making funny faces at me through the window while your parents paid the bill. Remember?” Mark asked.

Donghyuck’s heart did backflips in his chest. Mark remembered even the most insignificant details of the moments they spent together. It was things like this that made Donghyuck believe that maybe Mark felt the same way he did. He wondered if maybe at any point he had been Mark’s first love as well. Or if he still was. Donghyuck would never know.

“Yeah I remember. Sounds like a plan, chief,” Donghyuck told him. He put in the address for the diner and then the boys were on their way to their next destination.

Once they arrived, the 7 boys practically tumbled out of the car and into the small establishment. They stuffed themselves into a large booth and scanned the menus with hungry eyes that were probably much bigger than their stomachs. By the time the waitress came around to serve them, they were all ready to order at least two things each. She chuckled as they each spewed out their orders and went back to the kitchen to make sure the food was cooked for these hungry boys.

“So after this, what’s our first order of business?” Chenle asked.

“Well after some extensive research I’ve established there’s a pretty popular beach near here, there’s also some nice stores right out there as you can see and there’s obviously more food we can visit,” Jaemin explained. Donghyuck giggled lightly at Jaemin’s ‘extensive research’ findings.

“I say we do some shopping!” Renjun voted.

“I’m with Injunnie,” Jeno added. Jisung hummed in agreement.

“Mark hyung? This is your trip,” Jaemin reminded the oldest boy.

“Shopping sounds good to me too,” Mark answered easily. Mark was always so agreeable.

“Duckie?” Jaemin turned to him. Donghyuck just winked, making the other boy roll his eyes and smile.

“Alright, I’m taking that as a yes,” Jaemin said.

“This is gonna be such a nice day. Look at the sun,” Renjun sighed happily.

“This whole little area just looks so nice and peaceful,” Jisung said, looking out at the people walking around fondly.

“Sometimes I miss Jeju when Seoul feels too busy,” Donghyuck chimed in. Renjun hummed in acknowledgement.

The boys continued to chatter about anything that came to mind and messed around with each other. They were probably being a little too rowdy considering how few people were there, but no one said anything to them. Probably because they were going to pay for so much food soon.

“Here’s your food, enjoy!” The waitress told them politely. They all thanked her and dug in quickly.

Donghyuck once again had to hold back a smile as he watched Mark eat his food. The older boy was always just like a big kid, excited and eager about everything life had to offer, including food. Mark looked like a little chipmunk with his cheeks full of food. Donghyuck’s heart swooned relentlessly. _Shut up you stupid thing_, Donghyuck scolded at it.

The boys ate as much of the food as they could before they decided to split the bill so that Mark didn’t have to pay at all. He argued again and again that he could at least chip in a little, but the others refused. Mark’s cheeks were bright pink as they others coddled him and told him that it was okay, that today was his day.

Once the boys were back outside, they split off into their usual groupings and went to whatever stores they were interested in. Donghyuck watched with a small smile as Jisung followed Chenle into a small gift shop with the sweetest heart eyes ever.

“Hey, wanna go in there?” Mark asked Donghyuck, tapping on his shoulder. Donghyuck followed Mark’s line of sight and landed on a small jewelry shop. It seemed like there may be some nice options in there, but it wasn't really what Donghyuck thought Mark would have picked out.

“You wanna go in there?” Donghyuck asked.

“Yeah, it looks nice,” Mark said. He grabbed Donghyuck’s hand and dragged him towards the small store.

Once they were inside, Donghyuck could see that there were endless options of handmade jewelry to choose from, as well as other cute gems and rare findings. He looked around in awe at how nice the store really was. Mark was on the other side of the store, looking at some small postcards that were beside pretty beaded necklaces. The older boy wasn't even doing anything, and yet Donghyuck’s heart felt like it would beat out of his chest at any given moment.

Mark was so beautiful to him. His soft eyes over sharp cheekbones. His small smile as he read some of the cheesy postcards made Donghyuck feel like he was on cloud nine. The older boy’s hair was getting a little bit long now, so the dark locks fell into his eyes slightly. He looked so incredibly handsome without even trying. It was no mystery why Donghyuck was always drawn to him.

“Hey Hyuck, do you think my mom would like this?” Mark asked from where he was. Donghyuck was a little surprised and a little embarrassed at being caught staring.

“Lemme see.” Donghyuck walked across the shop to where his best friend was.

“It’s pretty right?” Mark asked, showing him the necklace closer.

“It’s great, hyung.” Donghyuck smiled genuinely. Mark smiled widely back to him and took the necklace off the rack.

Donghyuck quietly followed him to the front of the shop where there was an older woman seated behind the register. She took the necklace out of Mark’s hands carefully and rang it up. She looked between the two of them with a small, knowing smile as she put it in a bag for Mark to take with him.

“How long has it been?” She asked them suddenly. Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry?” Donghyuck answered.

“How long have you two been together?” She repeated, trying to make her question more clear. Donghyuck’s cheeks turned a bright red as he realized what she meant. She thought they were dating.

“Oh no, we’re not…” Donghyuck couldn’t even get the words out, he was so embarrassed.

“We’re just friends,” Mark explained for him. Donghyuck’s heart hurt a little bit, but it was the truth and he didn’t want this woman to get the wrong idea.

“Oh, my mistake. Well I hope whoever you get this for likes it very much,” She told Mark. He smiled gratefully and took the bag out of her hands, exchanging it with the money for the necklace.

The two boys thanked the kind woman and walked out of the store. Mark’s cheeks were pink as he giggled about how he’d have to tell the other boys about the woman’s mistaken thought.

Donghyuck on the other hand was lost in thought, barely processing what Mark was saying. He was too busy imagining a universe where the answer to the woman’s question was _1 year, 2 years, forever_. He’d imagined scenarios where he and Mark were together a million times before in his head. But to think about belonging to Mark for years, months, days...hell, even a few _minutes_. It was enough to send his brain haywire and leave his heart pounding. Donghyuck was sure his cheeks were bright pink as they all reconvened at Mark’s car.

“Hey guys, find anything you like?” Jaemin asked the group.

Chenle and Jisung explained all their findings in lengthy detail as they all piled back into the car, destination undetermined for the time being. Once the stories were finished, Mark started driving down the road slowly and the boys began considering the options about where to go. It was slowly becoming early evening, with the clock slowly reaching 5:30pm.

“I say we just head over to the beach now, that way we’ll be able to see the sunset!” Renjun suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” Mark replied, putting the address to the nearest beach into his GPS.

Somehow Donghyuck had wound up in the backseat this time, and he was in the perfect spot to watch Mark drive.

The older boy always looked so handsome to him while he was driving. His gaze was so focused yet his body was relaxed. Mark turned the wheel with ease and the veins in his arms came into view with each movement. The sight of it turned Donghyuck into putty. He tore his eyes away finally, cheeks having already turning a deep crimson color.

The boys arrived at the beach in no time and the sun is still shining pretty bright as they get out all of their belongings. They all walked onto the warm sand, taking their shoes off and allowing it to sink between their toes. The 7 boys all make themselves comfortable, setting out their towels and inflatable items before they begin removing their shirts and getting ready for the water.

Donghyuck looked over at Mark, who was preparing to race Jaemin into the water. Renjun and Jeno were already halfway there, with Jeno carrying the Chinese boy against his will into the chilly waves. Chenle was quick to join Mark and Jaemin, lining up alongside them to race. Jisung went over to count then down and be the judge of who would win. That left Donghyuck alone on the sand.

Donghyuck sat down on the warm sand and saw that the sun was finally starting to set. His gaze fell on Mark, as it had so many times before. Mark Lee was the first boy he’d ever loved. Here he was, smiling widely and having the time of his life as he ran towards the water. Mark won the race and cheered for himself loudly. A smile spread across Donghyuck’s cheeks as he watched from his place on the shore.

Mark would leave for college after this. He would start a new chapter of his life and he would hopefully be happy with it. That was what he really wanted, for Mark to be happy. Maybe all this time he’d been too worried about what he was feeling for the older boy and not enough about Mark himself. He wanted Mark to always look and feel as happy as he was right now, even if it wasn't with him.

Maybe Donghyuck had been too eager, maybe he’d watched too many dramas. Love wasn't just some fairytale that was bound to have a happy ending. There were many things to consider and Donghyuck had spent far too long considering them. Whether or not Mark loved him back, he cared so deeply for the older boy that it didn’t matter. Mark was moving on, so should he.

Donghyuck felt tears sting in his eyes, but he felt silly about crying over this, so he wiped them away quickly. He watched as Mark laughed loudly and happily. It was a little bittersweet to think about, but his time of loving Mark Lee was most likely coming to a close. Once Mark was gone, his feelings would have to change.

He almost didn’t notice as Jisung sat beside him on the sand. Donghyuck turned to look at the younger, who was too busy watching Chenle splashing around in the waves. Donghyuck’s heart felt fond as he watched Jisung look at the other boy with so much love in his eyes._ I hope you can find the courage to say whatever it is you’re feeling, Jisung_, Donghyuck thought to himself.

“Hyung? How do you know if you’re in love?” Jisung asked all of a sudden. He turned to look at Donghyuck with wide, curious eyes.

Donghyuck looked at the younger for a moment, contemplating his answer. Then he turned his gaze back to Mark. Mark, who he had loved so much for so long. Maybe one day he would tell the older boy all of the things he’d kept to himself. He would tell Mark exactly how he felt and the older would answer him one way or another. Donghyuck would finally find that courage. But for now, it was goodbye to his first love. Not goodbye forever, just for a little while.

“To be honest with you, love is a bit difficult.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave kudos and a comment if you liked it! my twitter is peachyseokseok and my cc is summerwaste!  
also if you love someone, you should really consider telling them. it may become the best thing you ever did :]


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